On several occasions, people have asked me when the first time was that I realized I was a dancer. I tell them this story. It was such a life-altering experience that I have devoted two pages to it in my soon-to-be-released memoir, THE NIGEL SESSIONS... UNLEASHING SACRED DESIRE. The following is an excerpt, pages 64-66:
"The anxious exhilaration I feel driving to Session #2 is similar to that of when I drove to Session #1, only this time it feels even more like an acid trip. I did a lot of LSD in college (in Amish country, Lancaster, Pennsylvania) and there were many times when my hippie friends and I would stay up all night and have wonderful, crazy trips together. To help focus my mind as I make my way to Nigel's land, I get to thinking about those fun days.
There was one very memorable trip in which I had a profound realization of my destiny. It was in the middle of the summer of 1975. I was between my sophomore and junior year of college and this was right before I left for Bangor, Wales for a one-year-abroad program. It was midnight and about six of us were mightily tripping and full of energy. One of my friends worked as a part-time secretary at a Protestant Church and had the keys to it, so we gathered some musical instruments and snuck into the Chapel.
The Chapel itself was unpretentious and elegant. The sides of the room had exquisite stained-glass and on the floor was a wall-to-wall deep red carpet. On a raised platform toward the front was a simple wooden altar with a Bible that rested upon it. We set-up and began to play guitars, hand drums, tambourines, rattles and even the Church’s ornate organ. I remember the sound of the music being huge, sumptuous and fantastic.
I was so inspired by the music and the beauty of the room that I began to dance... stately at first and then wildly, with full expression and abandonment! I had just purchased a beige antique shawl from the late 1800's at a local flea market and used this as a prop as I twirled, gyrated, pulsed and leaped around the altar. Everything I did was perfectly timed with the music and seemed to be sublimely connected to Universal Spirit.
When the music suddenly and climatically stopped, I released the fancy flesh-colored, floral-patterned shawl and it fell into a perfect semicircle around the altar. At the same instant I dropped dramatically to the floor landing flat on my back with my feet underneath. It was then-- at that impeccable moment-- that I had a major realization: I AM A SACRED TEMPLE BELLY DANCER! It was as if I had remembered this from a past life because the dance came to me so naturally and effortlessly. I knew that being a priestess belly dancer was in my destiny for this life as well. The dance movement I had done, I found out years later, had a name; it is called a Turkish Drop.
This revelatory moment wasn’t just in my head. Everyone was enthralled at the time and also in awe the following day when we were lounging, recouping our energy and recollecting our trips-- something we usually did after one of these drug experiences. We were laughing about how when the cops came we were able to hide in the church pews and sneak out before they caught us. And then everyone mentioned my dance and how much it moved them.
I have often wondered what my life would have been like if I hadn’t done LSD. Would I have become the psychologist I had originally intended to be?"
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And so, Illuminating the Dark blog reader, I ask you, have you ever had such a Divine Revelation about your own life?... a moment in time when your destiny has been revealed to you and your life is changed forever?
Friday, April 30, 2010
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That's a stunning way to remember and reclaim who you are! I have memories I look back upon that told me who I am. The first was when I was in 4th or 5th grade perhaps. I was in my family's backyard in Central Texas and my father was mowing the yard. I declared a wild, flat-growing portulaca sort of plant as mine, free from mowing. And I noticed myself as I did that. I remember sometime earlier wondering who I was and realizing that I had no idea. That action told me something. A few years later I stopped my distraught father from shooting a mockingbird that was singing outside my parents' bedroom window - at 3 AM every morning! He ended up using a water hose and the bird moved on unharmed. There were other hints that told me about myself. I was being driven home from the Dallas airport by my sister to begin 9th Grade after a year in Germany. I had been wearing those early hard contact lenses on the flight and my eyes were nearly swollen shut. After lying on the back seat in some misery, I raised up to view the landscape of my Central Texas roots. What I saw was a field covered with young mesquite trees. I remember thinking what I was seeing was "all wrong!" even thought I didn't know at the time those mesquites were the result of overgrazing the native grasses. Then in my high school sophomore year, it all fell into place. I had a biology teacher who was a woman! And she had a Master's degree!! One day a former student came into the class holding a native snake!!! The poor dear was passed around from student to student and I was amazed to discover how cool and dry she felt and how strong for such a little creature. I KNEW then and there that I was going to be a biologist. That I was a biologist. And that there was such a thing as a Master's degree. And that I wanted to work in the field, not in a laboratory. All these years later I can report that I did follow that dream and it has been enormously fulfilling. Thanks for asking :-D I love you and all your passion!
ReplyDeleteThank you Kunti for sharing your story. This is exactly what I meant about those "moments' when destiny is revealed. I often wonder if it is already in the cards in some sort of pre-birth arrangement, karma, darma, whatever. Someday science might be able to explain it. I've had several of these kind of moments, ie., the first time I saw Will I just knew him, same goes for an old PA flame. I also knew about Wicca even before I began studying it. Biology and living well with the planet has been your destiny and it is a noble and good one! Love to you, Sophia
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